AT granny's house: about my first heartbreak
The dark green foliage is rich in pigment
Air is purer than oxygen cylinders
golden wings growing on the back of the earth
bring the fingers of the day
link holding trees and grass
who remains a virgin even though making love
as they desire endlessly.
I will remember that day
I met a forest elf who never gets old
who thinks I'm his own kind
he said my wings might be immortal
if keep love alive.
He looked at me like a worried fortune teller
but I kissed him and whispered without hesitation,
"I want to be here, until time is born again."
He smiled and replied,
“I know your wings are being broken. Don't get carried away sad."
And I was speechless
apparently he knows everything
really a magic fortune teller.
I remember
I can't forget that day
several thousand days had passed
when I caught regret in your eyes
the soot
there is only the remnant of the fire that once burned
then since then we agreed to delete the dream
you turned around and flew home alone
and I fall as fast as the rain kisses the earth
fall and quickly disappear
even though I was in the middle
flapping wings.
Today at grandma's house
I have no intention of growing wings
no use flying high
high sky is not attractive anymore
let me pull over quietly
and just lie down on the earth.
- Mahesa Jenar
DI RUMAH NENEK: perihal patah hatiku yang pertama
Dedaunan hijau gelap kaya pigmen
udara lebih murni dari oksigen tabung
sayap emas menumbuhi punggung bumi
membawa jemari hari
menaut menggenggam pohon dan rerumputan
yang tetap perawan meski bercinta
sesuka hasrat mereka tanpa henti.
Hari itu akan kuingat
aku temui peri hutan yang tak pernah tua
yang menganggap aku jenisnya sendiri
katanya sayap-sayapku mungkin abadi
jika menjaga cinta terus hidup.
Ia menatapku seperti peramal yang khawatir
tapi aku mengecupnya dan berbisik tanpa ragu,
“Aku ingin di sini, hingga waktu lahir kembali.”
Ia pun tersenyum dan membalas,
“Aku tahu sayap-sayapmu sedang patah. Jangan terbawa sedih.”
Dan aku pun terdiam
rupanya ia tahu segalanya
sungguh peramal yang sakti.
Aku ingat kembali
hari itu tak bisa kulupa
beberapa ribu hari telah lewat
saat kutangkap sesal pada matamu
yang jelaga
cuma ada sisa api yang pernah menyala
maka sejak itu kita sepakat menghapus mimpi
kau berbalik lalu terbang pulang sendiri
dan aku jatuh secepat hujan mencium bumi
rebah dan segera lesap
padahal saat itu aku tengah
mengepakkan sayap.
Hari ini di rumah nenek
tidak ada niatku menumbuhkan sayap
tak ada guna terbang tinggi
langit tinggi tak menarik lagi
biar kumenepi dengan sepi
dan berbaring saja di bumi.
- Mahesa Jenar